It’s 2018, technology has transformed our world more than ever before! We are living in an era of interconnection and human beings have evolved too, but still those lines on the world map have divided not only regions but also our humanity.

Today, human psychology has variable faces, through-out those boundaries every different country represents different belief systems for men and women, and, we have hardly recognized a culture where both are considered equally in the realm of power and love.

Society is formed by us for the betterment of the people, but unfortunately, our conditioning strongly plays a major role in gender inequality.

Let’s face the facts, when it comes to the war of the sexes, one question is always raised: ‘Who is better?’

So, accordingly, it will be finalized that whoever deserves more and who will be subjugated. Advanced level of education has been reaching new heights, yet, there are many people imposing their different views which are reflected in the growth of the modern day dating. I think we have to ask ourselves “what role our society is playing and how it is affecting us?”

You might have heard that many men are too shy to approach, but also don’t forget that women are expecting men to do the first step to start a new relationship.

Women nowadays are becoming independent, powerful, and, they expect equal rights to men, yet, our society teaches women to remain submissive in their dating role, always waiting for men to take charge and to guide the path to a stronger bond.

Our perceptions, mindsets and upbringings play a vital role that shall define a better future by considering men and women as equal. Let us discover together what are the mentalities we were all brought up with and how we can use them to date more consciously in 2018.

Role of Society:

We all have seen that little girls are given a set of preferences such as playing with a doll, grooming her, making a bed for her, and, cooking imaginary food in her tiny kitchen set. These are daily chores for a girl child. It sounds cute, but, this is the way kids are given a glimpse of life in a traditional adult future.

Teenage life has always been an amazing stage to learn and grow. A girl goes through many unexpected changes and at the same time,  she learns soft skills to make a routine for herself as a stay-at-home-mom. 
Alike others, this girl is trained to turn into a mature woman with a soft-heart, focusing on building a family, a home, and, never asserting herself as a powerful figure. She is trained to lead a life of submission, of house-work, and, we all know this provides inequality in the home that she will build for her family.

A woman has skills to work and survive independently, but too busy with her household chores, she is limited to her interests in outdoor activities and to work on her hobbies, but she is also busy in taking care of her family as a routine which has no week off. This woman is confident to participate or suggest in her family business, but she will remain quiet because it is believed that it is a man’s role to provide for the family.

On the other hand, we have a completely different conditioning for men. Today, a child is recognized as a boy only if he demands cars and guns to play with. A boy is supposed to be interested in outdoors games and physical activities. If a boy plays with a doll, it’s forbidden and discouraged. Little boys are famous for making noise around the house, making drawings on the walls. Boys need to be tough, not show emotions, not express sadness, and, fight others if their pride is insulted. Being vulnerable or open emotionally is out of the question.

A boy in his teens who is not intentionally taught to be polite with women gets appreciation to own a girlfriend, this boy may have more opportunity and family support for his career planning because everyone believes that he is the future provider. He is pushed to act powerfully and to remain in control of his career. This boy will also have a variety of experiences, but some of them, he will never share with anyone because he is afraid that it may lead him to be considered as the emotionally weak person.

With all his lifetime achievements this boy has turned into a gentleman in his 30’s, he is leading a life where he is supposed to be the only strong character in the family for decision-making, and yet, he is not solely responsible. He is also working hard and taking care of his family too, but deep down, he is also experiencing mood swings, he becomes emotional at times, he feels pain too, but, he is not supposed to show it off, or else, he is not “man enough”.

By the time, those up-bringings and belief-systems have conditioned us, a woman becomes the vulnerable gender, needing emotional support and extra-care to believe that she is also important and valuable to society and her family. She views herself as weak and needing a man to complete her. On the opposite end, a man is taught to focus on himself, his future, his success, his leadership skills, and, he becomes the stronger gender. However, we all know that deep down both genders are human, needing the balance to be fair in vulnerable emotions and in powerful actions. 

What do we forget about men when we grow up with this mentality?
Men also have emotions… They also feel pain or to cry at times and they do not care how women are stronger if compared.
Men are also interested to respect and treat women equally, but, prefer to stay silent in the fear of reaction in exchange from the public or from the woman herself. They stick to their role in fear of appearing weak and vulnerable. 

What do we forget about women when we grow up with this mentality?
Today, women are more hardcore than men. We can just think with their participation in roles such as a doctor, an astronaut, mechanic, sniper, sharp shooter, street-racer, AND, being at the same time to handle an entire family and home.
With no other choice, women experience more extreme pain than men because of natural differences in the development of their bodies, whereas she also go through most terrible pain in labor room which men just can’t even begin to imagine

Our Society is leading both men and women on different paths where they adapt a fictional image of opposite gender beliefs, whereas same society also is looking for ideas to define and execute better today, let’s program our society to the next level together. Men and women are both superior in their own way.
Let’s not say men or women, instead showcase the healthy competition between humanity for sharing equal values and respect for each other.
“Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then we can and must make it our culture.”
― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

The efforts we can make:
Every child can enjoy and play with any toys they want to and should not be directed to choose between Doll Vs. Car
Girl child can also have choices of outdoor games and cars because it will not put any negative image, but, on the contrary, make her feel more comfortable with others.
Every boy can feel emotions, and, it is ok to express it, his manhood should not be questioned.
Every person has different capabilities and weaknesses, let’s not differentiate on the basis of gender in the workplace

Benefits of gender equality:
Single effort from each of us can make a difference, let’s form a society which teaches a boy to be sensitive and respectful towards women, it will make him a man of the future who will always represent the new image of a gentleman. Whereas on other side, girl should be guided for independent lifestyle which will make her a confident woman of the future, who will consider men as equally important, and, need not to get nervous about personal impression.

Hence such upbringings can be more beneficial such as:
Women to be less emotional and more confident
Men to be kind and generous instead of being shy or over confident towards women
Women to be treated equally important, hence less refusals for genuinely interesting men
Men to be genuinely respectful hence less careless towards commitments
“We must raise both the ceiling and the floor.”

― Sheryl Sandberg


Written by Bharat Tharwani, edited and reviewed by Layan Bubbly